One Sheets – Series Eight: The Quickening

Interesting things can develop when you accept nonsense into your heart.

About a month ago, before going to bed, I had to set my alarm to wake up at a reasonable hour the next day. I had to, because I had a big list of commissions to get through, a bunch of e-mails to return, some deliveries to make, some posters to pick up, and a show to do that night. 

That was when it hit me. This was the first time that I had ever done that. This tiny action of setting my alarm and going to bed early, so that I can be well rested and refreshed for a day devoted exclusively to activities best described as ‘playtime’. I realized that the entire day ahead of me required that I maintain my wits and make my things.

I don’t know if that’s the way most people realize they have become full-time creative people, but that’s how it happened for me. 

I’m broke, I’m tired, my apartment looks like hell and I’m working my ass off, but I’m also eking out a modest living doing what I love and making my whack-a-do shit the way I want to.

I must say, I’m enjoying it.

Thank you, truly, to everyone who helped me get here. I’ve been fortunate enough to have a lot of great support, and its always nice to have those happy thoughts in your head while you’re ripping up a picture of Liv Tyler at 4am on a Tuesday. 

Alright, all that sappiness aside, lets get down to brass tacks. Here’s a nice smattering of what I’ve been up to the last few months. All of these were commissioned pieces, so unfortunately for you they are all sold.  If you’re really cheesed about that, remember, you can always commission something fancy for yourself and avoid this kind of heartbreak in the future.

There is some exciting new stuff coming down the pipe very soon, but in the meantime, point your lookin’ balls this way…

‘Surviving’, formerly Shaun of the Dead

SOLD

‘Real Change’, formerly 90 Robert Falcon Ouellette campaign posters

SOLD

‘Street Walking Cheetah’, formerly Iggy and the Stooges – Raw Power cover

SOLD

‘I Don’t Feel That I Need To Explain My Art To You’, formerly Empire Records

SOLD

‘Things To Not Talk About’, formerly Best In Show

SOLD

‘Go On Then, Paul. Don’t Be Long’, formerly Paul

SOLD (to my friend Paul. Surprisingly)

‘Tis But A Scratch’, formerly Monty Python and the Holy Grail

SOLD

‘August 6, 1945, 815am’, formerly Godzilla

SOLD

‘Voyeuristic Intentions’, formerly The Rocky Horror Picture Show 

SOLD

One Sheets – Series Seven: First Gallery Show

I’ve emerged from my cave with a bounty of batshit to share.

Well, it’s been an interesting and amazing few months. Between mounting a one person Fringe show and desperately avoiding the sun, I’ve just wrapped my first solo gallery show. The response was incredible, and I can’t thank people enough for showing up, giving a damn, and lending support to me and my work. It’s always nice to know that my joyous downward spiral is as amusing to watch as it is to experience, so a big thanks to everyone who helped make it a success, namely Paul Little and the staff of Frame Arts Warehouse. You crazy kids are alright.

This series is compiled of the pieces that made their debut in the gallery, and a few commissioned pieces I’ve made over the summer. Most have been sold, but a few are still up for grabs! I’m making another venture to Toronto to scrounge up some new posters, and I’ve already got a pile of commissions to get through to keep me going for the next little while. No rest for the stupid.

‘Acherontia Styx’, formerly The Silence of the Lambs

SOLD

‘I Missed The Part Where That’s My Problem’, formerly Spiderman

SOLD

‘A Chalky Undertaste’, formerly Rosemary’s Baby

SOLD

‘This Town Needs an Enema’, formerly Batman

SOLD

‘That’s Why I Really Hate Sharks’, formerly Sharknado

SOLD

’36 Hours’, formerly Blow

SOLD

‘My Disappointing Early Work’, formerly ‘Children’s Programming’ formerly Clerks

SOLD

I suppose this one is a little on the nose, but it felt right. This was maybe the third or fourth One Sheet I’d finished, and was one I brought out last November at the Self-Destructivism Video Dance, the first time I ever showed them to people. I never liked it. I always felt it had a very amateurish stink to it. After I’d made more and started feeling more confident in them, this one stuck out even worse. Since I’ve started there have been a lot of attempted One Sheets that did not pass muster, or were just flat out shitty, that I’ve never shown people. The less said about my misguided Snakes on a Plane experiment the better. However, I made the fatal flaw of showing this one off to people. It’s a lesson every budding creative type needs to learn. Just because you’re excited about doing something does not mean everyone needs to see every facet of it. A wiser man than myself once told me that it’s always on you to know if the work you’re doing is actually any good. Forget what others say, positive or negative. If you’re genuinely good, you’re an honest critic of your own work. You’ll know if the stuff you made meets your standards. Everyone else is just guessing. 

‘Japan Four’, formerly Freddy Got Fingered

$40

‘Father, Son, and The Holy Ghost’, formerly four posters for Lies of a Promiscuous Woman

SOLD

A really cool commission for the cast and crew. I was honored to be asked, considering the notoriety of the posters. Thanks to Veronica for the opportunity.

Winnipeg Fringe Festival Actor Called ‘Blasphemer’ For Play

‘You’re My Favorite Customer’, formerly The Room

This will be available to be WON, at a special screening of The Room at the Park Theater on Sunday September 7th as part of the Interactive  Movie Nights.

 Also, cool little tidbit about this one, this poster was sold to me by Tommy Wiseau and Greg Sestero. I bought two, and got them to sign one for me to keep. They looked very confused when I said I did not want them to sign this one, and I really did not want to go into the whole detail of explaining why.

‘Lil’ Scrappers’.

I have this problem, in that I can never find it in myself to throw away any of the little remainders of a poster that don’t make it into the final piece. This is my tiny way of giving them a second chance to shine.

‘Suicide Booth’,  formerly Futurama – SOLD

‘Wiseau’, formerly The Room – $15

‘Gnadenlos’, formerly The Silence of the Lambs – $15

‘Television’, formerly Futurama – $15

‘Cianflone’, formerly Pizza Hotline flyers – $15

‘G: General Audiences’, formerly 2001: A Space Odyssey – $15

‘Sretaeht’, formerly Pokemon: the Movie – $15

‘Stallone’, formerly Rambo: First Blood Part II – $15

‘R: Restricted – Black’, formerly The Room – $15

‘Based On A True Story’, formerly Blow – SOLD

‘R: Restricted – White’, formerly Dirty Harry – $15

‘This Film Is Not Yet Rated’, formerly Girl With The Dragon Tattoo – SOLD

‘We Were Brainwashed’, formerly The Breakfast Club – SOLD

‘Sexy Communism’, formerly Dr. Strangelove – SOLD

One Sheets – Series Six: Commission Impossible

Ah, the joy of destroying stuff.

Upon returning from my poster scavenging expedition in Toronto, the last month has been nothing but fun commissions and interesting projects. I was happy to have a number of cool requests, and I was thrilled to get the chance to leave my stink all over them. 

As for the future of the One Sheet project,  I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is you may not see as many updates up here, or very many new One Sheets for sale from me in the next little while. Awwww, maaaaan.

However, don’t worry, because since I’m a jerk, the good news totally overrides the bad news. I’m pleased to announce that I’m going to be putting on my very first gallery show!

Mark your calenders kiddies, because from August 24th to the 31st, I will be taking over the Frame Arts Warehouse C Space gallery for my very first solo show! There will be DOZENS of brand new, one of a kind pieces made for this show, and ALL of them will be for sale. I’m also planning a number of special events in and around Frame, so stay tuned for updates very soon about those festivities.

All of the One Sheets in this series are spoken for, and I’d just like to give a friendly howdy-do to Natalie, Jesse, Matt, Dave, Ryan, and Sean for their kind patronage of my bullshit.

‘Dogs And Cats Living Together’, formerly Ghostbusters

SOLD 

‘Deny Them My Essence’, formerly Dr. Strangelove

SOLD

‘Renaud (Hidden Track)’, formerly 4 Islands tour posters

SOLD

‘Predator Pink’, formerly Riddick

SOLD

‘Six Shots, Or Only Five?’, formerly Dirty Harry

SOLD

‘That’s A Very Nice Rendering’, formerly 2001: A Space Oddesey

SOLD

 

‘Fuck You #WhiteHouseDown’, formerly White House Down

SOLD

‘Damn Your Eyes’, formerly a couple things

The image created to be used in the program for my upcoming show in the 2014 Winnipeg Fringe Festival.

 

One Sheets – Series Five

After a month of no money and isolation during the coldest and shittiest winter this God forsaken ice tundra has seen since the 1970s, I’ve emerged from my cave with a new little batch of colourful little malcontents.

You hit an interesting point after you make enough of these things, I’ve found. Now that I have a vague sense of what I’m doing, and experimented with a few new approaches , I can authoritatively tell you all what I’ve learned about my artistic process. I can tell you all right now, with great certainty, that art is dumb. Really fucking dumb. It’s tedious, takes up a lot of my time, is on my mind constantly, makes me very little money, and at the end of the day, I’m an adult in my late 20s without a full time job making bizarre arts and crafts alone in my apartment.

And I would not have it any other way.

I’m going away on a expedition to collect some commissioned posters, and after I return and make those, I plan to keep my next plans for One Sheets on the down low for a little while. I’ve proved to myself and enough people that I’m not entirely wasting my time, and hopefully I’m able to whip up some stuff that will be really sweet.   

‘Too Much Sibilance’, formerly The Brave Little Toaster To The Rescue

SOLD

‘They Talk A Lot, Don’t They?’, formerly Pulp Fiction

SOLD

‘One Of The Ones That Became Nothing’, formerly Pulp Fiction

SOLD

I had a lot of extra scraps left over from the massive Pulp Fiction One Sheet, enough to make a whole 16 by 20 and 8 by 10 out of them. Those big ones are such a pain in the ass, but they are so worth it. 

‘Man Of Tomorrow’, formerly Superman

SOLD

‘Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na’, formerly Batman

SOLD

‘With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility’, formerly Spider-Man

SOLD

The three superhero themed One Sheets were a sweet commission series for my boss’ baby’s room. Super happy for the chance to make those. Start the kids off weird, that’s what I always say.

‘Hi, I’m Jerry Cianflone’, formerly 20+ Pizza Hotline flyers

SOLD

One Sheets – The Making of ‘Personality Goes A Long Way’, formerly Pulp Fiction

‘Personality Goes A Long Way, formerly Pulp Fiction

Since starting this whole One Sheet business, I’ve had a number of people ask how exactly they are made. I decided that for perhaps the grandest, most complex, and most requested pieces I’ve ever undertaken, I’d document the entire process from start to finish. From assembling materials, to the first cut, all the way to the final top coat, I take you through every step of the dark and sticky journey. 

Here now is a peek behind the curtain into how the artistic hot dog is made…

Due to the high demand I’ve had for this piece, I’m currently accepting offers via private message on Facebook or Twitter

Pics of the process…

One Sheets – Series Four: The Revenge

After my Christmas season commission rush, I was once again allowed the freedom to hack and slash whatever the hell I wanted.

I’ve still got a lot of posters to plow through, and I’ve already got my mind set on a really cool themed series in the near future. Coming soon, I’ll  also be giving information on a very special commission opportunity, where you could have the chance to get a custom One Sheet of almost any film you can imagine.

Several of the One Sheets you see below are still for sale, and are currently on display at The Purple Room at Frame. They can be purchased by contacting me (@jdrenaud on twitter), or by sending a private message to my or The Purple Room’s Facebook. 

“Very Protective”, formerly Dude, Where’s My Car?

SOLD

“You’re The Only One I Trust”, formerly Rambo: First Blood Part Two

$50

“Tonight’s The Night”, formerly Dexter

$40

“Here I Come To Save The Day”, formerly Man On The Moon

SOLD

“I Trust That Scratch Hasn’t Made You Useless”, formerly 300

$40

“Revenge Is Never A Straight Line”, formerly Kill Bill Vol. 1

SOLD

The second 30 by 40 inch canvas I’ve completed.  If you closely inspect this bad boy, you will see small yellow scraps hidden in the mix. Fun fact, there are 88 of them.  

Detail

One Sheets – Series Three: Xmas Commissions

I was fortunate enough to have a number of friends and well-wishers who supported my neurosis by commissioning One Sheets for Christmas gifts.

Included in this series are my first non-film posters, my first international commission, and my first double landscape.

Thanks to Chad Anderson, Dan Huen, Rory Fallis, Paul Mazurik, Ernesta Tobin, and Blair Renaud.

Also, huge thanks to Cory Falvo for his donation of a buttload of posters to the cause.

“Dream On, Skin Tube”, formerly Futurama: Space Pilot 3000

SOLD

“Do Not Attempt To Defy Me”, formerly Pokemon: The First Movie

SOLD

“Demented And Sad, But Social”, formerly The Breakfast Club

SOLD

“Why Does He Keep Protecting Us?”, formerly Godzilla 2000

SOLD

“Maybe You Should Drive”, formerly ‘Fear & Loathing’ art print by Ralph Steadman

SOLD

“The Letter U”, & “The Numeral 2″, formerly U2 album covers

SOLD

Made out of an extra large poster, spread out over two canvases. I was delighted to have my first musical One Sheets to be U2 inspired. I’m not really a fan, but I did listen to a lot of Negativland while making these. 

Detail – 

One Sheets – Series Two

“Oh, Shit! What Are We Going To Do Now?”, formerly Transformers: The Movie

SOLD

‘Fix The Cigarette Lighter’, formerly The Blues Brothers

SOLD

My first commission. Thank you, Dr. Dan Huen

‘I Don’t Like Being Sick’, formerly Quarantine

SOLD

‘Matte Finish Can Eat My Ass’, formerly Quarantine

$10

After experimenting with new kinds of sealer, I’ve made an educated decision.

‘Mean Mother Fuckin’ Servant Of God’, formerly From Dusk Till Dawn

SOLD

“Dicks, Pussies, & Assholes”, formerly Team America: World Police

SOLD

‘Worth Dying For, Worth Killing For, Worth Going To Hell For’, formerly Sin City

SOLD

‘Flashback Humor’, formerly Fight Club

SOLD

My first 30 by 40 inch canvas, four times larger than the others, made out of a gigantic wall-sized poster. Two more of this size are on the way.

“Tentacle Shaft”, formerly Shaft

A special piece for The Purple Room and Paul Little.

One Sheets – Series One

For a plethora of reasons I don’t really feel like going into right now, I’ve decided to destroy all my old movie posters, and recompose them all into abstract pictures.

Each of the images you see are made entirely out of a single film poster, pasted onto a 16 by 20 canvas, with no other added images. I call them ‘One Sheets’. Mainly because I think it’s a snappy title for the series, and because ‘Decoupaged Copyright Infringement’ is too many syllables.

All unsold images are on display in The Purple Room at Frame Arts Warehouse, and can be purchased by sending a private message to @jdrenaud on Twitter.

 

“This Was An Abysmal Failure”, formerly Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

SOLD

This was my very first attempt at a full 16 by 20 canvas, and I completely fucked it up. I didn’t like the fact that you could still read text and clearly make out certain images. The edges were frayed, I had bubbles everywhere, it was just a god damn mess. Mostly, I hated the fact that it was clear that I had just cut up an old poster. Granted, that is what I did, and what I am doing for all of these, but regardless, this one pissed me off. It really annoyed me how it proved that I didn’t have the skills or the intelligence to know how to use my materials effectively yet.

 It sat in my hallway for a week, and it made me furious when I looked at it. The only thing I could think of when I saw it was “This Was An Abysmal Failure”. So, I took out my paints, wrote that on it, slapped two logos on either side, and to be honest with you, now I love it. A fitting start. 

“Don’t Talk Like One Of Them”, formerly The Dark Knight
SOLD

“Strikes and Gutters, Ups and Downs”, formerly The Big Lebowski
SOLD

“Children’s Programming”, formerly Clerks
SOLD

“No Real People”, formerly Reservoir Dogs
SOLD

“Two Together Are Always Going Somewhere”, formerly Vertigo
SOLD

Controversy at the VMAs: The Next 21 Years

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Miley Cyrus has drawn a considerable amount of media attention for her salacious performance at the MTV Video Music Awards over the weekend. However, this is not the first time that the VMAs have drawn controversy, nor will it likely be the last.

Using a very complicated series of graphs and linear programming charts, I have created a 21 year projection for the ongoing history of controversial moments at the VMAs.  Please keep referring back to this list every year to see how accurate I was.

2014 – Huge shock waves go out on the twitterverse when One Direction announces their break-up, citing creative differences. Naill Horan exits the stage giving what many in the audience interpret to be the seig heil arm gesture, though he denies it. Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke’s performance of their new single, ‘Rohypnol Rumble’, is edited from the show for time.

2015 – The twitterverse explodes when Justin Bieber announces his plans to portray Heath Ledger in the upcoming bio-pic of the late actor. Katy Perry wears a dress made entirely out of olinguito fur. This broadcast is also the last known public sighting of Pharrell Williams, whom is never seen or heard from again. Ben Affleck as Batman hosts.

2016 – In a comeback performance that few saw coming, Sarah McLachlan very visibly masturbates on stage for four straight minutes while performing her 1995 hit ‘I Will Remember You’. As a result, Twitter suffers an irreparable sever overload. Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey sues McLachlan for the necessary repairs to the twitterverse. Nicki Minaj wears a very strange hat.

2017 – Brazilian-born and Seattle-raised internet pop sensation Yoalin Karr sweeps the awards with his hit single ‘Done 4 U’, despite the distinction of never having released the single on a major label. A bidding war erupts to secure the rights to release his first album. Host Justin Timberlake is very visibly gaining weight. A Pepsi ad depicting an implied scene of incest draws controversy.

2018 – The Nu Metal Revival medley sees the surviving members of Limp Bizkit join members of Twerk-Metal band Caawk in a performance that ends in the accidental death of Caawk’s bass player, Naill Horan. Yoalin Karr’s performance is criticized for allegedly depicting a re-enactment the 9/11 attacks, of which Karr claims he’d never heard of before. Only 3 awards are given out all night.

2019 – The lowest rated VMAs in history, mostly due to the show being preempted for the debut of the new MTV reality series “Fuck, Marry, Kill”, in which a contestant is forced to actually fuck, marry, or kill three celebrities. (Jennifer Lawrence, Chloe Grace Mortez, and Willow Smith, respectively). One notable performance is the duet between Kid Rock and a hologram of Joe C.

2020One Direction reunites, replacing Naill Horan with the newly sober and born again christian Miley Cyrus. Host Tyler the Creator causes a stir when he steals all of the Moonman awards and starts to throw them at people in the audience, injuring several. Jay-Z is given the lifetime achievement award, but forgot to set his alarm from PM to AM, and is not there in time to accept.

2021Yoalin Karr proposes live on television to his girlfriend, Frances Bean Cobain. Chris Brown descends from the rafters of Radio City Music Hall, pouring what many first believed to be pig’s blood on the first four rows of audience members. It is later revealed to be blood from several people still on the missing person’s registry. A lengthy investigation follows. Hologram Joe C hosts.

2022 – After being snubbed by the awards the year previous, Kanye West decides to put on his own awards show across the street from Radio City Music Hall, inviting only friends and family to attend. U2 does a performance live via satellite from their privately owned space station. Malasian-American singer Tenai does her entire performance suspended in the air by metal hooks digging into her back, symbolizing something.

2023Lady Gaga accepts her lifetime achievement award in a very classy and conservative white evening dress. Her acceptance speech is simply “Alright, monsters. It’s time.”, before walking off stage. A single gunshot is heard. Later, 272,802 more suicides are reported by devout Gaga fans across the world. Bruno Mars is shown picking his nose in a cut-away, which quickly becomes an internet meme.

2024 – A tribute to the late 2 Chainz is sullied by a drunk and belligerent Justin Bieber and Robin Thicke, who storm the stage wearing ‘Bieber/Thicke 2024′ election t-shirts. Two unknown women are seen doing meth and making out with each other in the audience pit. They will later sign to a four record deal with Interscope records. This marks the first year that no awards are given out whatsoever.

2025 – A man wearing a Kendrick Lamar mask runs naked across the stage during Jaden and Will Smith’s unsettling medley of love songs to each other. People are stunned, but less-so once it is revealed that he was only one of dozens of naked Kendrick Lamar backup dancers, late to the show, who will be seen later during Lamar’s performance in the show. Tenai announces her new album will be released exclusively on Mini Disc. Two Girls Doing Meth and Making Out host.

2026Mumford and Sons perform a 47 minute jam set before security is forced to intervene and remove them from the building. Yoalin Karr announces plans to start his own religion. Most of the live acts are visibly masturbating themselves or others during each performance. Meanwhile, the 5th year of The Kanye Awards draws record ratings with the surprise reunion of the Talking Heads.

2027 – A protest is staged outside of Radio City Music Hall to prevent the performance of pop sensation Tristan Turner, with many feeling that his hit ‘There Without You (I Can’t Get No Fuck)’ bears too close of a resemblance to the 3 Doors Down song ‘Here Without You’, the latter of which has since become the national anthem of Cambodia. Turner is 4 years old. Nicki Minaj wears a very strange hat, made out of the corpse of Katy Perry.

2028 – No awards due to rain.

2029 – No awards due to floods.

2030 – No awards due to locust.

2031 – No awards due to Daft Punk’s control over the west coast power grid.

2032 – The VMAs return, with survivors of The Great Darkness exhibiting their talents for those fortunate enough to still have a working television. Acts deemed ‘pleasing’ by the barbaric iron fists of Daft Punk are permitted to survive another year. The winner this year is Frances Bean Cobain for murdering her husband, Pope Yoalin Karr the First, live on the air. Hologram Joe C hosts.

2033 – A rag-tag band of disheveled pop stars set aside their differences and unite to crush the tyrannical regime that has constricted them into a life of violent pseudo-sexual torture. Together, a one-legged Rihanna, Marshall ‘Mohammed’ Mathers, Frances Bean Cobain, two of the four surviving members of Muse, and Drake’s brain hooked up to the body of a 15-foot cyborg, rise up to defeat Daft Punk and free their imprisoned contemporaries. It comes in second in the ratings to the season finale of ‘Rick Clarion: Retard Cop’ on AMC, starring Michael Cera.

2034 – The 50th anniversary of the awards features a lengthy montage of past VMA moments that helped shape popular culture over the years. From the infamous kiss between Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley, to the public gaffes by Fiona Apple and Kanye West, not a single controversial or memorable moment in the five decade long history of the awards is over looked. The outfits, the gimmicks, the spectacles and the scandal. Performances that marked the arrival of new musical icons, and solidified the pedigree of those who came before. The montage artfully and without omission presents the long history of the MTV Video Music Awards for what it truly has been, and for what it has come to mean. For decades, it has been the annual event for the most visual generation of young people in history to see their idols at the peak of their pageantry. To see them expose as much as they can to as many as they can. Be it for reasons of misguided vanity, or in a pure desire to express themselves as true artists, it has become and endures as the widest forum for popular musicians to be seen and talked about by their public, and to hopefully never be forgotten. The montage is followed by a Pepsi commercial featuring two computer animated owls screaming racial slurs and farting on each other, which quickly becomes an internet meme.

- J.D. Renaud